$20 Pool Rap

Once again, a work of art based on my real life poolroom experiences.

Picture me onstage, my pants on the verge of falling down, one hand on the mike, the other on my crotch.

$20 Pool Rap

Pardon me for stinkin'.
Wha'zactly wuz u thinkin'?
Axin' me to play,
When I sez to u no way
'Less u givin' me duh 8.
I'm talkin' to u straight.
Butchu jus’ wanna jump me,
Cut me up n thump me,
Not givin’ up a spot,
Jus’ stealin’ whad I got.

Cry. Cry. Whine. Whine.
I got duh heart.
I got duh dime.
U got no heart.
U got no balls.
Ur super-chump,
‘S how it falls.

Nickel sets r ‘bout ur speed,
Five bucks, sucker – chickenfeed.
I bump duh bet up to ten,
N ask u for the 8 again.
Butchu ass jus’ walk away,
Sayn u n me cannot play,
Meanin’ not-a-thing to me -
I’m duh prey, the pursuee.
I resink into my groove.
While u plan to make a move.

Cry. Cry. Whine. Whine.
I got duh heart.
I got duh dime.
U got no heart.
U got no balls.
Ur super-chump,
‘S how it falls.

Twenny down, u start to cry.
As chumps do, u wonder why.
Must be that I’m a thief –
A cunning weasel brought you grief.
U’ll get even if I play u checkers.
Get straight, sucker, bite my pecker.
More heart than me? That’s pretty funny.
The way you whine over a little money.
I’m jus’ a guy who likes a game.
Ur a loser! Now, who’s to blame?

Cry. Cry. Whine. Whine.
I got duh heart.
I got duh dime.
U got no heart.
U got no balls.
Ur super-chump,
‘S how it falls.


© Ace Toscano 2007