Blood, Lust, Sex, Bullets, Money

My latest pool story has none of that. Check out Once A Weasel by Ace Toscano.

As in most of my fiction, the names have been changed to protect the guilty.

2010 Monday Night Sharpshooters Awards Party

Our team, wearing the Hayloft colors, consisting of Boogie, Billy Cook, Craig and yours truly were declared league champions for the winter session. And, once again, I was awarded a trophy as the league’s individual male points leader. Here’s my acceptance speech for the male points leader award:

 Left: Individual Points Leader; Right: 1st Place Team

“Thanks, everybody, I appreciate the applause. This trophy means a lot to me, not only because it was hard-fought, but because, realistically, with Billy Cook back from Ohio, it could very well be my last. But, hey, there’s nothing wrong with second place, is there Billy? (more applause) Anyway, seeing as I only won by seven points overall, I guess I can thank that 31 point night I had early on for clinching first place for me.

But, as proud as I am of coming in first in the individual points race, I’m prouder yet of the way I played – I never tried to shark anybody by jumping off my stool when they were trying to shoot; I always made an honest effort; and I always played by the rules. Though I can’t say that about all of you who have made it here tonight, (laughter) I can say it about a lot of you. And I just wanted you all to know that, regardless of how many games you won, or what place you came in, if you played by the rules and were a good sport, you have my respect and my friendship. Thanks for making this league fun for all of us. (applause) As for the rest of you - the cheaters, crybabies, sharks, and whiners - maybe you can find another league somewhere. (more laughter) Peace, love and peyote.”

Barrelz Ekes Out Victory in Challenge Cup Match

 Jeremy, Bobby, Jonny, T.J.

Now, let me preface my comments about the first-ever Hayloft-Barrelz Challenge Cup Match by saying my observations on said match may not be entirely accurate as I was heavily medicated at the time which also accounts for the fact that I couldn’t make a shot.

Unfortunately, I did not have a corner on problems interfering with performance at the table. Boogie, our number three player, was playing on short notice and hadn’t had time to put himself in the proper frame of mind. Billy “The Kid” Cook, our anchor, had been to a Rays game the night before sitting in seats so far removed from the field of play that he had developed eye-strain. Jimmy, a last minute addition to the squad who nearly made the eight on the break in two games, was victimized by bad roll after bad roll. As for me, I was heavily medicated as I may have mentioned before.

In the lead-off position, I missed what should’ve been easy position and managed to give the first game away. I think I followed suit with my second game, though, like I said, much of the happenings were obscured by a medicinal fog.

Heading into the match, I figured, if Billy and Boog won four games each, then I would only have to win one to cinch the match. That being said, I held up my end while my two amigos fell short. Jimmy was just there to fill out the roster so he shouldn’t be held accountable in any way for the massacre.

Barrelz, on the other hand, was living the charmed life – they didn’t get a single bad roll, nor did they have any medical emergencies. That’s the way it goes some times.

The Barrelz four - Bobby, T.J., Jeremy and Jonny – have sworn to give us a chance to get even though it seems, now, the Port Hole team has injected itself into the mix. We’re looking forward to a renewal of the competition, though we would hope they set things up for a day more hospitable to our side.

BTW, if you’re ever in the area, stop by Barrelz (8115 Us Highway 19, Port Richey, FL) for some pool, beer and pizza. You’ll be glad you did.

The Jackhammer Break Cue - A Tale of Gullibility

I just received the new jump/break cue I found on ebay, an Aska Jump Break AR Professional, which reminds me of the last jump/break cue I bought via that vast shopping mall, The Jackhammer.

The Jackass's Jackhammer

What’s with the name, anyway? Obviously the name Jackhammer was supposed to bring to mind another popular break cue, The Sledgehammer, which sells for around $300. The Jackhammer sold for considerably less. Yet, while both names conjure up powerfully destructive images, the power is delivered primarily vertically, not along a lateral path as a cue might traverse. Perhaps, Battering Ram would be a more apt moniker.

Anyway, I was taken in by the whole Jackhammer thing and soon paid the price for my gullibility – my Jackhammer turned out not to be worth jack shit. The “special” phenolic tip/ferrule chipped and cracked in half in short order. I had already given the seller positive feedback on the basis of the cue’s appearance, so I figured I was stuck. I got what I deserve – I was a Jackhammer jackass.

Aska Jump/Break Cue

So, somewhat inexplicably, when I again needed a jump/break cue, rather than going to my own break cue page, I again took a trip to ebayland. The Aska Jump/Break Cue sells for $109. It has a nice look, a solid feel, and, what’s more, it comes from Canada. I’m hoping our Canadian brethren have more scruples than those sellers dumping the Jackhammers on an unsuspecting public. I'll let you know how it holds up.